Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
