And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
