finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize