All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize