I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
