my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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