I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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