Tell her she can't have a vagina
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
