I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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