I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize