Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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