I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
