Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
