eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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