This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
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i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
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I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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