How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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