Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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