I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
