CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
