Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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