school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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