I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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