Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Randomize
