I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
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My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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