So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
