I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just invented taco cereal.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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