omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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