Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
