i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
