I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
