As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
