I got chris browned last night
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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