so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
