this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
