is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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