Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
