He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
