so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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