So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
