a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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