The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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