pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize