you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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