Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
