OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
