I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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