Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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