you guys were way drunker than both of me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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