I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
