i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
