his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
