dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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