Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
