So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize