you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
