have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
either way he was missing a nipple.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
