We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Pants are for mortals
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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