i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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