you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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