he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
