He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
