I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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